so hard

so i went to the funeral this morning. i had forgotten how much they take out of a person. it is so hard to see the family in so much pain. a husband after 43 years of marriage will wake up tomorrow, and especially Sunday on Christmas, without his wife..."his life mate." One of the most distinguished gentleman I have ever known, who has run the gauntlet of highest military ranks, to working at the pentagon, to working with presidents, and inventing things we can't remember living without to a man who was shaken so much internally, that maybe for the first time in years, it showed externally. his wife was such a beautiful woman. her life is an example we should all aspire to attain qualities from. although she would be the first to tell you, they aren't her qualities, they are qualities that she relies on the Lord for. this woman spent every morning of her life with the Lord. EVERY MORNING. no sick days. no "i woke up late and don't have time." she spent every morning with Him. hearing one of her children read from her Bible and her journal today, was so touching and gut wrenching at the same time. He read from her entry from about 10 days ago where she was even thanking the Lord for her illness and the closeness to Him. she thanked him for her ability to make it thru the days feeling a little stronger each day.

i don't think it was by accident that Missy died around Christmas. her favorite holiday, due to the celebration of Christ's birth. Every year til this one, her family has held elaborate Christmas parties. anyone and everyone attended these parties. presidents, mayors, govenors, heads of state, celebrities...etc. the parties were so warm and friendly. the house was always beautifully decorated. people were flowing from one room to another. you never knew who you were going to meet or run into at these parties. it was a highlight of every year. and Missy was the belle of the ball. always a smile. always warm words. the light of the Lord poured out of this woman. she traveled all over the country, to nursing homes, just to sing and brighten the days of the elderly. she earned recognitions from some of the most well known Christian figures of today. she didn't ever boast or gloat about any of that tho. you would never know unless you heard it or read about it yourself. she changed the Kingdom. in doing so she changed the world. if we all could only say that at the end of our lives.

there were so many things that brought up so many emotions today. i am not quite ready to process them all, so i will end this here. the funeral was a beautiful testimony, to a beautiful woman, who is now sitting with her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.