devotion

so for my devotional today i decided to pray and watch The Passion of Christ. this only being the third time i have seen it, i believe that it is probable that one could watch the movie over and over and get something new from it each time.

today there were two things that really stood out and made me think about how they can relate to my life and what we can learn from some of the last moments of Jesus' life. the first was when Jesus was about to get up from having fallen with His cross. He holds onto His cross like an angel coming to rescue Him. Embracing it, knowing that the end was near and He would be home soon. that His mission, the purpose of His life was to be fulfilled in these moments. a thief on his way to be crucified next to Jesus remarks and says "why do You embrace Your cross."

this comment affected me in a somewhat strange way today. we all have a cross to carry. some have a harder one than others. but just the same, we all have our own cross to carry through our lives, towards the destiny and plan that God has for us in our life. but how many of us "embrace" that cross. do we hold onto it tightly. trying to learn everything we possibly can from what He is trying to teach us. do we embrace the pain as well as the joy when things don't go the way we want. do we choose to grow from that pain, or do we just allow it to exist within us? when the load seems heavy, to we persevere, or do we fall under the weight? do we choose to pick the cross up everyday, or only when we feel like it? can we see our circumstances as God sending us what we need to become what we are meant to become, or to we quickly turn our focus away and onto other more mundane things that can occupy or time and abilities?

that moment when Jesus embraces that cross, an expression of relief comes over His face. an expression of thankfulness and purpose. He held onto it as if it was medicine to ease the pain. how much of our states can be controlled by our minds, and what we tell ourselves. what great adversities we can overcome when we take on the proper perspective. it's time to get up and walk. it's time to carry our cross every moment. embracing it in everyway we can. if He could carry that load for us, we can carry ours for Him.

the other moment that struck me was when Simon is asked to help Jesus carry the cross, he adamantly states that he wants it to be clear that he is an innocent man carrying the cross of a condemned man. what a statement at that moment. when it is the exact opposite that is going on. Jesus is the only One to have ever lived on earth that was free of sin, and not condemned to hell for sins He committed. We are all born sinners, saved only by grace and through faith in Jesus' life and resurrection. We are all condemned and He was the only one that could give us eternal life. Jesus' cross was each and everyone of our sins. He fell under the weight of our sins while carrying that cross. with each sin we willingly committ, we add another splinter, another swing of the hammer to His cross. we crucify Him afresh almost with each sin of our own volition. how can we get it installed into our heads that each time we make those wrong choices we are being the reason He had to suffer so greatly. what will it take so that there is a permanent filter in our brains that lets us know when we have lost our senses and are about to do something sinful.

everything that He went thru, He did for each one of us. it still amazes me to think that if i was the only person on the planet, that He still would have given His life for mine. me, the sinner that i am. He died for all those things that i have done. they crucified Him, but i helped give God a reason for that to be needed. i have so far to go. so very far to go.

my time with Him awakened something in me today. a drive i thought i had lost for a while. a passion for aspects of my life that i have let go on the back burner for other things. it is time to no longer be passive. it is time to go after all this life has to offer, and do whatever i can, to live life to the fullest. the past is the past. i am walking towards my future, with the intent on running towards it very soon. i pray that God will continue to lead me. that He will protect me from the secular world as well as from His followers, that don't heed to Him. i pray that all those that i love are safe and surrounded by Him and His angels. i pray that all conflicts will be resolved quickly, and that the reasons things have happened the way they have will be revealed. i pray that the truth that always comes to light, that it will do so quickly, effectively, and without any negative repercussions. i pray that God's will be done in my life, and that i will truly embrace my cross everyday. Lord, please teach me what i need to learn from my cross today. your daughter and servant.